...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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