i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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