there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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