After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
