You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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