if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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