I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
