I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
