if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
