Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
