If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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