It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
