Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
