I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
