what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
