i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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