she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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