Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
