This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
wow bdsm is so cute
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
