you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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