i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
