So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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