I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
