Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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