someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
