I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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