Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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