Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
