Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
