How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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