this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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