Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
