I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The best revenge is premature balding
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
