Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
