It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
