we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
