Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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