I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
