would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
