I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
