that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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