guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
