It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
