no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
