it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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