I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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