oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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