Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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