he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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