She announced her abortion via fbk
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
