I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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