Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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