She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
