Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize