SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
