Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
