Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
