i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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