I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
