She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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