before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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