Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drunk is a universal language darling
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
