its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
