You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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